Sisters

I have a sister. She is 12.5 months older than me. We don’t talk much. Actually, we don’t talk at all. For the past 7 years, we have only talked a few times. I can count them in one hand.

Whenever ppl talk about sisterhood, and the bond that only sisters have,  I cringe a little inside. I berate myself for not being that sister to my sister. I then immediately justify myself to myself and tell myself that it’s all her fault for being such a b*tch. I’m sure, deep inside, she is not one. But she sure has acted like one in certain circumstances in the past.

Last night, I had dinner with three women friends from my small group. It was the first one and we plan on having it monthly.

It fed my soul.

It fed my soul.

I never felt like that with a group of women before.

The conversation never stopped. The food was fabulous. We talked about everything from breastfeeding to claustrophobia to backpacking across Europe and composting. I felt like one of the girls in Sex and the City. One of the four. (No, we did not talk about sex.)

I am so thankful to my “sisters” for last night. I ended up staying up until midnight to finish a work project but it was worth every minute. Every. Minute.

mood: grateful

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You’re Not Mad?

Today my son AJ (3 years old) did something that he does every once in a while. He spilled milk. All over his table. It was his high chair table, and there is a ridge, so none of it spilled out on to the floor or onto him. It was quite a bit though, about 1/3 of a cup?

Normally when the kids have a big spill, I get mad. I yell. I say “WHY DON’T YOU BE MORE CAREFUL?” Of course, it’s not really a question. I know it’s not their fault that they spill (ok, maybe a tiny bit?). That they are just young children and that their motor skills aren’t finely tuned yet. And that even adults spill. But it’s my default reaction… to get angry.

However, today, I did something different. I did not get mad. I just said something like, “Oh no, you spilled the milk. That’s ok. Accidents happen.” I don’t even know why I didn’t get angry. I just didn’t.

And then Christian (5) said, “You’re not going to get mad?”

As in, “I was expecting you to get mad.”

I felt sad to hear him say this. Sad that my son was expecting me to get angry. Expecting anger instead of grace from his mommy.

And I felt good at the same time. That I hadn’t gotten mad.

I was surprised that I felt so good. Instead of angry, I felt full of grace. I felt like a good mother.

I made a note to myself to react more like this in the future.

And I hope that my kids aren’t so surprised when I react with grace in the future.

– Mary

 

 

Total side note: During this small “ah-ha moment” I was reminded about that scene in Mad Men when Don’s wife #2-to-be (you know, the pretty Canadian secretary) casually cleans up when Don’s son spills milk at the restaurant. And Don is so impressed by her. And the kids are impressed by her. And all is well and the world doesn’t come to an end just because there is milk all over the table.

Yay air freshener.

So, I go to Al-anon. There is a meeting on Sundays that I like going to sometimes. They have a room that kids can play in, with a TV and video, and videos! And toys. It’s right next to the meeting room, so it’s kind of awesome. Sometimes, other people bring kids too. But the room, it has an awful, awful smell. Like someone vomited in there. Or the room has B.O. (body odor). The room has really really bad BO.

Today, I grabbed my bottle of air freshener on the way to the meeting because I had both kids in tow and didn’t want them to have to smell that smell the whole time. It’s a huge bottle of Fabreeze. I got it for free a long time ago, because I blog over at Kimchi Mamas and sometimes, people like to give bloggers free crap.

When I got into the room, I sprayed like 20 squirts of the air freshener. I hoped it would do the trick. I popped in a video and the kids were content. About 10 minutes into the meeting, my older son comes out and tells me that his stomach hurts and that his throat feels funny. He proceeds to vomit all over the (thank God) vinyl floor. It starts to stink really really bad. Way worse than inside that room. Someone thankfully brings me a whole bunch of napkins. I clean up the vomit (it’s a LOT) and am SO glad that I have the air freshener with me because I spray the heck out of that room. It doesn’t smell like vomit anymore and we can have the meeting in relative peace.

I have no idea why today, of all days, I decided to bring Fabreeze to my meeting. But I am SO glad that I did because it would have been sooooooooooooo gross (more gross than it already was) if everyone had to sit through the entire meeting with the stink of vomit vapors filling the room.

Thank you God.