Shame is the absence of self love.

Hello there! Happy New Year! I have not blogged in a long time but last night I read something so profound that I had to share it.

I am re-reading Tattoos on the Heart by Father Greg Boyle. My good friend lent it to me. I read it cover to cover and am re-reading it cover to cover. It is that good. In one of the chapters, Father G says that shame is the absence of self love, much like the darkness is the absence of light, and cold is the absence of warm.

This makes so much sense to me! I don’t know why I never knew this before.

The solution to shame is self love.

I must love myself, the way God loves me.

I must accept myself, the way God accepts me.

I must delight in loving myself, the way God delights in loving me.

I must find joy in loving myself, the way God finds joy in loving me.

There is no room for disappointment or disapproval, because God is too busy loving me.

God, who is greater than.

God is so much bigger than I had ever imagined. And she loves me so thoroughly than I had ever know.

I also love love love that Father G sometimes uses SHE and HER for God, and not just HE. I mean, there is no gender for the Holy Spirit, is there?

*swoon*

I also selected a word for 2016. It shall be serve. God told me so. (Not audibly.)

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Changing Someone’s Life

This is an old old draft post but I liked it so am finally posting it. It’s a bit outdated but whatevs.

It’s been a strange week. I’m going through Step 4 in my al-anon recovery process. I’m on the topic of love. It asks, “How have you expressed your love toward others?”

I could barely think of anything. I searched my mind and my heart. I still could not list more than a few things. I told myself, “You are not a loving person. You don’t love anyone.” Sounds crazy, but sounded partly right at the time. I doubted if I could really love someone else… you know, the kind of sacrificial, self-less, unconditional, all-giving love. I also wondered if I am having any real positive impact on those around me.

So today, someone that I don’t know came up to me and told me that they went to a meeting. They said that I talked about unconditional love at that meeting, and that that meeting changed their life.

So yeah, that happened.

Compassion Sunday

Sorry about the lack of posts… I’m not sure why but I haven’t been blogging much lately. I have the next week off so maybe I will blog more?

We held Compassion Sunday at my church 3 weeks ago and I’ve had a table out with sponsorship packets for the 2 Sundays following. Eight children got sponsored and some others took packets home to fill out and mail in themselves. One person told me that they already mailed it in so that’s at least nine children sponsored. Awesome!!!

Husband and I also volunteered for Compassion at the Global Leadership Summit a few weeks ago. Eight children got sponsored over 2 days. That was awesome too!

Oh, I got a new job! Which is why I have the next week off. I am still with the same company but I just have a different position in a different location. I have been working in Oakland for the past 10 years but I will be at Vallejo starting next Tuesday. My work gave me a $200 gift certificate to a spa so I will be enjoying that this week.

A couple weeks ago, we had the leadership retreat at our church. It was great to hear about how God has been working in people’s lives. I wish I was able to get more of that on a regular basis. Husband shared how God had been working in our lives. A lot of people came up to me afterwards and told me that they were encouraged by the sharing. I’m so proud of my husband for having the courage to share what he shared!