Last year, my word for the year was “not-judging.” That was the year I found Al-anon and I learned a whole lot about not judging in al-anon meetings. I learned that I have a whole lot of judgement towards others. A WHOLE lot. Every time I criticize someone, I am judging them and thinking that I am better than them. I try to remind myself that everyone is trying to do the best they can and that no one needs to be reminded how screwed up they are. We all are. Screwed up that is. I have especially a hard time not judging my husband. I think I know him so well… but the truth is that I don’t know what he is thinking all the time. I don’t know all of the experiences he’s had… and on top of that, he is a different person. So yeah, no judging husband either.
This year, my word for the year was love. I have to be honest, even after a year of thinking about this word, I don’t know much about love. Most of the time, I don’t know what it means to be loved, or to love someone else. I know that I am loved. And I know that I love others… but I can’t quite put my finger on it. I told my kids that love is hugs and kisses… and I think that captures the gist of it.
I am wondering what I should choose for as my theme word for 2012. I’ve been thinking about humility. That would be a good one. Goes well with not-judging, does it? And with LOVE! Maybe I will get some more insights into what my word should be in the next couple of weeks.