Sponsee letter

Today, I got the most gut-wrenching letter from my sponsor child. She told me the story of how her father became disabled. I had asked her in my previous letter because she mentioned that her father is disabled.

(Warning, this is not for the queasy.)



Long story short, he was working as a logger for a big company when he got attacked by a terrorist/guerilla group. Him, along with all the other corpses, were found four days after the attack. They were working at a remote place. When he was found, they thought he was dead. All the others were dead. He had kept himself alive by drinking the blood pouring out of the dead bodies.

He was treated for his wounds but he remains disabled by the gun shots. He self medicates with alcohol.

I read a book recently, a novel, that talks about cannibalism. I didn’t know what to do with the information. I think, somehow, it prepared me to read this information from my sponsor child’s letter. How strange that a similar scene would unfold before me as a real story.

I had an urge to send a family gift today, before I got the letter, because I know her mother suffers from asthma. I asked for the gift to be spend for mom’s medication and school supplies. It was strange to get her letter, and to hear her mention a recent severe attack that her mom had. I hope the money gets to her in time before another severe attack. My son has mild asthma. It’s a helpless feeling, to know that a human being, your beloved, is not able to get enough oxygen and struggling to breath.


God, let me be a light, in this dark world. Let me be an instrument of your hope.



Yesterday, I had an amazing opportunity. Let me go back to last week to tell the story.

Last week, I had a horrible experience at work. An important person put me on the spot at a big-wig meeting. I felt humiliated, angry, scared, and useless. Bad things to be feeling at work. I got home and sobbed. In front of my children and husband. It didn’t help that the baby was projectile vomiting and that I am facing some hard challenges in my marriage. I hadn’t slept well for a week. I almost always sleep well and have never had insomnia. So, that was very unusual for me.

Anyway, I was very disturbed by the experience and was viscerally afraid of this important person. I tried to put it behind me and wrote the person an email. I said that I regretted our interaction. I admitted I was not my best self. I also expressed my hope for a better working relationship. The person emailed back and said to not worry about it, that we’ll get the project done perfectly and that we will do it very quickly. Interesting, huh?

So, how does this relate to the amazing opportunity? Well, yesterday, I had a meeting with another important person. She is not the same person, but just as important. We were making small talk and she started telling me about her weekend and how she was trying to help her friend. As we talked, she asked me if I had any experience with similar problems. I was able to share my experience, strength, and hope with her. She was SO grateful. She said that the meeting was like orchestrated by God. I completely agreed. The work-related conversations also went very smoothly. I felt validated, valued, and appreciated. I felt useful.

Both experiences just came my way. I don’t think I could have prevented or predicted either. But I am glad that I was not so embittered by the first experience, that I kept my heart open and could be of service to this other important person. I thank God for the opportunity. =)


today’s events

Today, I took a mental healthy day off from work. I am thankful that I could do so. I had breakfast at a local diner-like place. I got a table and started applying make-up. The lady on the table next to me was reading her paper and finishing her food. She commented about how it was not right for people to talk about pee or to put on make up in a public place. She said many sentences about how she was displease.

I asked her if my applying make up was bothering her. She said more things. I asked if she is sensitive to scents. She said she was and said that it didn’t seem like I cared since I was now applying my make up “aggressively.” She said that I was rude for doing this. I asked her if she could please stop talking to me. She said again that it’s not right for me to put on my make-up in a restaurant. She said that even though I was smiling, that I was being aggressive and rude and impolite. She asked if there was anyone else in the place that was putting on their make-up. I ignored her.

She left. The people to the right of her looked at me and said they didn’t know why she felt the need to listen in and comment on their conversation. I took that to mean that they were the ones who talked about pee. The waitresses stopped by. They told me she was rude and was having a “bad day” because she did not get the type of pastry she wanted. My waitress commented that she should get up earlier if she wants a particular pastry.

I thought all of this was rather hilarious and sad. I did not take it personally, although I could easily have. Multiple times, I wanted to tell her off and yell at her. Reciprocate her rudeness with my own rudeness but I kept my smile on my face and used my please and thank you. Many snide remarks came to my brain, but I did not let them come out of my mouth.